Choose your listeners wisely

Our mind is never idle. There is no hibernate mode we can switch it to. It is impossible to keep our heads clear of thoughts, fears, opinions, or stories of our past experiences, even for a second. Along with this, comes an urge to let it out in one manner or the other. Some choose to write it in their secret diaries (wonder how long they remain a secret) while some choose to express it to a person they believe would understand it.

As shrewd as it might seem, not everybody cares to even respect what you have to say let alone understanding it. The virtue of lending an ear to somebody with an open mind while being sensitive to the other person’s emotions is fading in today’s world. More often than not, minutes into the exercise people become busy in judging you and painting you with a brush they use to categorise ‘people like you’.

I remember an instance where I learnt it the hard way. I used to discuss few of my life’s challenges with a few friends in college. On one such occasion, I was telling a friend how worried I was about arranging for the fees which had to be paid for the second year of my Bachelor’s degree. After listening to me (or to my cribbing/bickering as some would term it), she asked me why I kept cribbing about my problems and never did anything about it.

It sent jitters down my spine and I could not believe what she had said. However, coming to think of it, I gave her an opportunity to pronounce a judgement on me. I do not blame her for saying what she did. We can never control everybody’s perception about ourselves and our lives. In my defence, I merely wanted to discuss things with a friend to get a different perspective on my ideas and see how I can improve my efforts. Only I and my family knew how I ran around desks of different bank officials trying to obtain an educational loan in vain.

This is when I learnt that I need to choose my listeners carefully. Since then, I have consciously worked on what exactly I discuss with different kinds of people. I might have won a few battles while working at it but there is still a lot I need to do. However, I do not endorse being sceptical about everybody you know. You definitely need to share your thoughts and experiences with people because it helps you evolve as an individual. Different people lend you different perspectives which help you in the longer run.

Try to know somebody with an open mind, lay your trust on the goodness inside them, and become good listeners yourself. Remember it has to be mutual. If you cannot respect your listener’s advice or opinion on whatever you said, please do not go beyond talking to yourself in the mirror waiting for your conscience to wake you up to reality.